#Audrey screams about braven

[elviriel]

Thanks for asking, @la-petite-fadette! I made a separate post for this, since it was getting kind of long, hope that’s okay. 

And I was actually thinking of talking about this for Braven week when I saw the “when they became your otp” moment so, the question comes at a perfect time. It convinced me to actually type it out! 

To answer that question adequately- because I'm very wordy and incapable of answering quickly, watch me get off-topic under the cut as I try to walk you through my history of shipping on The 100. This is all a lot of honest rambles about what I shipped and why I stopped. 

Dear followers, if you ship B*llarke, don’t read this. It’s only going to upset you, so stay away :)  Also, Braven shippers, this post talks about B*llarke a lot. and about Raven x W*ck a bit And about internalized bias and things like that. Just so you’re warned :) it does talk about braven though oF COURSE

So how did I get into Ravenbell? To get there, I have to start with B*llarke because.... well, you’ll see. 

The thing is, like many others I think, I shipped B*llarke before even watching the show.

Gifsets of that season 2 hug were everywhere on my dash, and I was like: “oh my this is cute.” then I started watching the show, and while I fell in love with Raven at first sight, B*llarke had that enemies to lovers potential that kept me hooked.

They had fun chemistry in season 1. They started antagonistic then started liking each other more. They were the leads. It made... sense? And I genuinely liked them. So there I was, shipping it happily. Everyone shipped it, so it was on my dash all the time. It fueled my shipping, and I knew it was all leading to The Hug. 

Ravenbell was.... well. not even a thing if you looked at the fandom, judging by the people I was following. It was either Fl*arke or B*llarke. L*nctavia too. 

So Ravenbell flew past me. I enjoyed their interactions- definitely saw the sexual tension.

Hell, I will admit that when they hooked up in season 1, I felt lowkey threatened, as I think many B*llarke shippers did.

My threatening did not, however, transform into me hating Raven because I loved her a lot. She was my absolute favorite. People disliking her because of that thing honestly made me like her more out of spite- not that she needed it. My love for Raven Reyes knows no bounds.

And even then, I think I was kind of hoping something more would come from their hook-up- but I was still in B*llarke land then, so I both wanted it and I didn’t.

That’s the thing about me- honestly, I tend to pick a ship and it’s hard for me to get over it once I ship it. I’m less like this than I used to be, but yeah. I tended to hold on tight to ships

I did think, though, that maybe Ravenbell would go somewhere in season 2, after their late season 1 interactions. It kind of surprised me that it didn’t.  So season 1 happened, and then season 2 rolled around. I loved season 2 in many ways, but Raven’s general storyline in season 2 was very unsatisfying to me. Raven x W*ck was nice, at first. I wanted Raven to have a love interest that wasn't Finn. I enjoyed the banter- but then when it progressed, I found myself grimacing at Wick putting pressure on her. I was like “really man? She just lost the boy she loved forever, her family, can you chill?” I saw everyone being all heart eyes at that ship in the B*llarke tag, and I was wondering if there was something I’d missed. Because I wasn’t really into it.  I did notice, though, at the end of season 2, Bellamy saying “Is that Raven?” like he wanted to cry. It made my heart do a thing. But again, still in B*llarke land. I got a lot of feels at the end of the season. She kissed his cheek. I was crying.  Still firmly into B*llarke at this point. Even if the possibility of Cl*xa then highly interested me. 

But anyway. On to season 3.

Season 3 is when I stopped shipping B*llarke.

Mostly because season 3 started, iMO, sucking. I was angry at the Bell storyline. I was angry at how Cl*xa was handled, I was angry at the Lincoln death/Ricky Whittle on set drama... Season 3 nearly got me to quit the show tbh. 

So my B*llarke shipping was sucked into my frustration with the show. And I didn’t like the idea that L*xa was killed off to make way for B*llarke- I now realize that it wasn’t the case, but the way the fandom framed it... It turned me off the show, the ship, all of it. 

I also lost interest in Cl*rke as a character for many reasons that I won’t go into- my season 3 frustrations are never-ending tbh and somehow, when B*llarke reunited at the end of the season, it fell kind of flat to me? I was like: “but wait where’s that romantic chemistry I thought they had” (the answer was it probably wasn’t there in the first place but anyway i’m not here to throw shade)

anyway, my reaction was: “Huh. so I’m over b*llarke.” 

Also, as I got more frustrated with the show in season 3, I started going into “anti tags�� and found meta that talked about several aspects (I think some of them were even written by you? I know I’d seen your name in tags before I followed you for Braven joy) such as the show’s racist patterns, etc.- and also, I distinctly remember reading a great piece of meta about how the show rarely lets characters of color interact without a white character present, and that.... got me. I was like: fuck that’s true. 

When I say season 3 sucked though, I want to make it clear that while it did IMO, it only... highlighted some of the problems that were here all along in the show. Honestly I’m really not proud of the way I missed - or ignored- some of the show’s patterns, and they really came to light in season 3. The fact that I missed those aspects is fully on me. A lot of viewers were aware of them before. Just not... me?  Wow am I getting off-topic. The question was about Ravenbell. Okay. Focus, Audrey, focus. 

I wasn’ t even going to watch season 4, at first, but my husband wanted to, so I knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I wasn’t really into the 100 then anymore tbh. 

Before season 4 rolled around though, I visited the Ravenbell tag. The reason is ridiculously personal and has, at its basis, NOTHING to do with Ravenbell themselves. A happy accident, really. 

To be completely honest, I started writing a book (wee!) where two main characters hook up and they look like Ravenbell a lot. Tall curly-haired boy, shorter dark-haired lady, both of them brown-skinned... so I wanted screenshots of them to make my own private edits for myself like the little goblin that I am- and looking for screenshots on google images led me to the Braven tag, and then I.... could not... get out.

Looking at the Ravenbell scenes in gifsets, looking at edits, honestly made me go: “........ huh. HUH. how come I don’t ship this more? They’re my favorite individually and usually, I ship my favorites together. Not always but often How come I broke my own pattern?” 

The question to how come I broke my own pattern probably has an answer that’s both obvious and shameful tbh. The fact that I didn’t ship Raven with Bell even if she was my favorite character, over Cl*rke, says a lot about how much TV structure and internalized shit influence us. I’m a lot more conscious of that than I used to be. I know you’re familiar with candyumbrella’s tobin structure posts- and honestly, misreading B*llarke as Tobin?

That was me. Me 1000000%. I can admit it freely because I’m super over it but that was the case. 

Probably the reasons the meta mentions- even if it wasn’t conscious on my part. I somehow- had this idea in my head that Bell*rke was the ship. That the romantic chemistry was there. That the storyline was going there. That they had the development, the attraction, etc. 

As it turns out.... well. Nope? 

Those Tobin metas also intensified my Braven shipping by 10000% since then but anyway

Really though, the braven tag and its contents - that I kept visiting for non-book-edit purposes- made me start shipping it. A lot. A lot-lot. Mostly because the more I looked at their pretty selves and thought about them, they made... sense?

The fact that I was super over B*llarke freed up the way for me to ship Braven. It sounds silly, really, but that's 1000% what happened. 

Anyway, by the start of season 4, Braven interacted.

I squealed.

I wanted more of them.

I kept visiting the tags. More and more and more. I rewatched some of their scenes and saw things I’d missed. I remembered how really, in season 1, it looked like something more would come from their season 1 scenes- until that was mostly dropped in season 2. And the writing for season 4 was more satisfactory to me, for the most part. There was more Raven. A LOT MORE RAVEN. So between my renewed fondness for the show, my heart exploding with feels over Raven Reyes all the time, my little heart fluttering over Bellamy Blake constantly, I went from “oh that would be rly nice if the show went there again” to “help I ship it so hard I would die for them” and honestly there’s no going back for me now.

I realized that not only was Ravenbell super based in canon, they made sense. They bring out some passion in each other that lacks in their interactions with other characters IMO. And honestly, after all the shit they went through, I want them to be loved and protected and treated well- and if you look at the show’s canon, IMO, that’s with each other. I’m not nearly as skilled with Braven meta as the rest of the fandom is, so I won’t bother explaining why I love them because honestly, the fandom’s said it all. And I can feel it in my chest now- they evoke the kind of love that B*llarke used to evoke for me, only even deeper because (no shade to anyone who likes Cl*rke ) I’ve always loved Raven much, much more than I like Cl*rke, even when the latter was in my top 5 favorite characters. The admiration I have for Raven Reyes knows no bounds, and god, Bellamy Blake, don’t get me started. Loving him has been a ride, because he has been through so much and grown so much and you know that meta, Raven Reyes as the secret hero of his development? I think about that every goddamn day.

And honestly, back in B*llarke days, I was annoyed with some of the fandom’s tendency to... reduce Bell or Raven to Cl*rke. I never liked the trend of making Raven out to be some sort of B*llarke cheerleader- and I think starting in season 2, I was a bit annoyed by the idea that everything Bell did or said was directly related to his love for Cl*rke. Even if I shipped it, that was... irksome, even if it took me a while to realize what bothered me. 

Honestly the cracks in my B*llarke shipping were probably there from the start but anyway. I still shipped for a loooooong time

I spent season 4 waiting for Braven to interact more, getting increasingly annoyed with Cl*rke, thirsting for Braven to interact ALONE- and then completely exploding when he offered to go get her and the hug and the scenes in the finale and gkljflkgjdlkjgdfkgjdflkjkldjflgjfdlgkjfdlkgjfdklgjfdklgjflgjd. Keysmash sums up my feelings efficiently. 

Honestly, I think it’s the Ravenbell tag that made me get into it before season 4 rolled around, and increasingly through the season. The gifsets, the metas, the everything- mostly because the tag helped me realize a lot of things that had happened in the first three seasons and that I’d missed because I was into another ship. Complete and utter tunnel-vision. 

And now, as I await season 5, I visit the tag all the time and read all the meta and look at their pretty faces and think daily about what a fool I was to miss that ship for such a long time. I honestly can’t believe myself  Anyway, if you read all that, thank you? I hoped you enjoyed my ramblings. (Also, this may sound like a silly question, but am I the only one who went from B*llarke to Braven? I feel like I can’t be, but you know, if anyone else ship-jumped, let me know so I can feel less alone and we can cry together about the foolishness of our youth) 

[elviriel]

So I was going through screencaps here in the hopes I might perhaps muster the creativity/inspiration to make a braven edit and hum can we talk about this

first, what is that face bell? what is it. 

and then this

THE SMILE he’s very proud of his space wife (and look at cute smiling raven not that her husband brought back her confidence)

the smile won’t leave his face

[elviriel]

current mood: brAVEN